Sometimes I wonder how professional musicians feel after gigs. Would it be a safe guess that after a short relaxation, they count the money and go home to sleep? Maybe they don’t, but I am sure that you can’t live normally and react emotionally on each gig, like I did.Monday evening, 9pm, I struck first chords in front of little more than 10 people, among them my parents.This the first time they came to see me, not because they don’t love me (they do!), they just previously weren’t in Israel when I performed.

The evening was full of contradictions. For the first time, there were people I never met. It is result of the Facebook campaign I ran for the gig. If you’re curious, financially it wasn’t effective, but in this phase, I’m willing to invest a few dimes to spread the word. I was quite excited by the fact that I managed to make people curious enough to leave theit homes and come to see me. It quite contradicted the feeling I had when I discovered that at least some of them didn’t enjoy too much the gig. It is something I guess all performers experience and I’ll try to cure my ego with self improvement, so next time somebody doesn’t like my performance, I’ll know it’s the matter of taste.

There were also friends in the audience, they (say that they) enjoyed the evening.

 

audiencebw

To be honest, technically, the gig wasn’t the most successful one. There were songs that went really well, but there were also moments that it would be better if they weren’t happen.

At the end of the evening, I was exhausted. I enjoyed the energies of the audience, but I also realised that I should hold on for a moment and rethink the whole performing thing.

I think I already mentioned before that, beyond enjoying the music as hobby, my goal would be to get to the point were to other artists, professional ones, perform my songs. Though I enjoy performing, it feels like a bumpy road. You play, you get a wrong tone/string/off rhythm and than you move on without letting anyone to notice (and people do notice, at least in subconscious, but they are not against you, so they move on too). This moving on requires a lot of energy and right after everything is well again, you go wrong again. I talked with a few performing friends of mine about it and it happens to everybody. And I am the harshest to myself, I’ve been said.

Maybe they are right, nevertheless, I know that I want to tighten technical things a little bit. It will allow me to free myself emotionally on the stage. I already started, unlike after previous gigs, I started immediately to practice, while focusing on precision in playing. Only good things can come out of it.

OK, everything may sound at the moment as disaster, but it’s not. It’s just contradictional.

Take a look at these moments that were shared live on Facebook and you’ll find there everything I just wrote about, the good and the bad:

 

The first song (or a half of it, to be more accurate) is my latest song “She’s Living Today”